One Liners

Q: Why do bald men have holes in their pockets?
A: So they can run their fingers through their hair.
***
Q: Why do girls talk so much and guys think so much?
A: Girls have two pairs of lips and guys have two heads!
***
One of my friend has named his 3 kids NC, MC and ABC!
I asked why, he said: 1st Natural Curiosity, 2nd Mutual Consent and 3rd Absolute Bloody Carelessness.
***
Banta and his shapely date were parked under a romantic moon. Placing his hand on her thigh, he whispered, ''I love you.''
With a deep sigh, the girl replied, ''A little higher.''
''I love you,'' came the higher-pitched reply.
***
A naked woman gets into a taxi. A cab driver looks at her stupefied.
What's up. Havn't you ever seen a naked woman?
No. I'm just wondering where you suppose to take the money from.
***
Latest porn releases: Shaving Private Ryan, Position Impossible, As Big As It Gets, Forest Hump, Riding Miss Daisy, Starwhores and Pornocchio.
***
A blonde, suffering from sore throat, goes to see the doctor. He asks her to sit down.
He gets out his torch and says, ''Open wide.''
''I can't, the chair's fitted with arms.''
***
If you feel stressed out, try to have SEX. It helps you to relax. Do you know how to have SEX?
Let me teach you
S = Sleep
E = Eat
X = Exercise!
Dont think dirty
***
An old man married a young girl. On their wedding night, he showed five fingers to his young wife.
Young girl: '' 5 times!?!''
Old man: ''No dear, choose which one do you prefer to start with?''
***
Mother was scolding the daughter, ''I don't like the guy you are going out with. He is too dumb.''
''No, mamma,'' she said, ''He is going to be a doctor and he has already cured me of that illness that I used to have every month.''

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