Miscellaneous Jokes

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION

Just wait until we get home.


2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING

You are going to get it when we get home!


3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE

What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you ... Don't talk back
to me!


4. My Mother taught me LOGIC

If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, your not going to the
store with me.


5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE

If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.


6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD

If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job.


7. My Mother taught me ESP

Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?


8. My Mother taught me HUMOR

When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.


9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT

If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.


10. My Mother taught me about SEX

How do you think you got here?


11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS

You're just like your father.


12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS

Do you think you were born in a barn?


13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE

When you get to be my age, you will understand.


14. And my all time favorite JUSTICE

One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then
you'll see what it's like.

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