Miscellaneous Jokes

1. Bifocals Barbie.

Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors
(half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha
Stewart Living.


2. Hot Flash Barbie.

Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of
perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.


3. Facial Hair Barbie.

As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy
tweezers and magnifying mirror.


4. Flabby Arms Barbie.

Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on
the tummy front, too - muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.


5. Bunion Barbie.

Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on
Barbie's dainty arched feet.
Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry
mules.


6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie.

Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle,
from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.


7. Soccer Mom Barbie.

All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off
her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan
in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit
punch.


8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie.

It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Fred (her personal trainer)
is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new
red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B and amp;B. Includes a real tape
of Breaking Up Is Hard to Do.


9. Divorced Barbie.

Sells for USD199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.


10. Recovery Barbie.

Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she
does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to
meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack
of Diet Coke.


11. Post-Menopausal Barbie.

This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and
cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the
tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus
this year, the book Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self is included.

Next (1)

Prev (2)

Jokes

Report this joke!