Miscellaneous Jokes

1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.


2. Youve just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room.


3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someones ass.


4. In your last trip to pee you realize you now look more like TammyFaye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.


5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.


6. You start crying.


7. There are less than three hours before youre due to start work.


8. Youve found a deeper side to the office nerd.


9. The man youre flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.


10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.


11. Youve forgotten where you live.


12. Youve started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes youve smoked, because (as youve mentioned like 10xs by now) you only smoke when you drink.


13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but thats just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.


14. You think youre in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.


15. You start every conversation with a booming, Dont take this the wrong way but...


16. You fail to notice that the toilet lids down when you sit on it.


17. You fail to notice that its up and you fall in.


18. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling takedown moves.


19. Youre tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).


20. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want to.

Next (1)

Prev (2)

Jokes

Report this joke!