One Single Rule: Make the woman happy

Men & Women Jokes

In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You dont get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, thats the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)

You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)

When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with a six iron (+10)

Its was her pet (-10)

Party:

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)

Named Tiffany (-4)

Tiffany is a dancer (-6)

Tiffany has implants (-8)

Her Birthday:

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and its not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, its a sports bar (-2)

And its all-you-can-eat night (-3)

Its a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted in all the colours of your favourite sports team (-10)

A Night Out With the Boys:

Go with a pal (-5)

The pal is happily married (-4)

Or frighteningly single (-7)

And he drives a Mustang (-10)

With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED (-15)

A Night Out With Her:

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

Its called Death Cop 9 (-3)

Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique:

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, It doesnt matter, you have one too. (-800)

The Big Question:

She asks, Do I look fat?

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, Where? (-35)

Any other response (-20)

Communication:

She wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)

You listen for over 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)

She realizes you have fallen asleep (-20)

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