Miscellaneous Jokes

he Twelve Politically-Correct Days of Christmas



On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter
festival, my acquaintance-rape survivor gave to me,

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual
drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made
up of members in good standing of the Musicians
Equity Union as called for in their union contract
even though they will not be asked to play a note...),

TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the
patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing
milk-products from enslaved bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected
wetlands,

SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen nonhuman
animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced
domestic incarceration,

(Note: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened
to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French
hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native
habitat. To avoid further animal-American enslavement, the
remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

THREE deconstructionist poets,

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed
tree carcasses,

...And a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

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