Miscellaneous Jokes

Diary Entries

AUG. 12 Moved to our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. The
hills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see them with snow covering
them. I love it here.

OCT. 14 Ohio is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turned
all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the
beautiful hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful, certainly they
are the most wonderful animal on Earth. This must be paradise. I love it
here.

NOV. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to
kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon, I love it here.

DEC. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in
white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off
the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and
when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a
beautiful place. I love Ohio.

DEC. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick
again to the driveway. I love it here.

DEC. 19 More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to
work. I am exhausted from shoveling. fking snowplow.

DEC. 22 More of that white s**t fell last night. I've got blisters on my
hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and
waits till I'm done shoveling. a**hole.

DEC. 25 Merry fking Christmas! More friggen snow. If I ever get my
hands on that sonofab*tch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll kill the
b*stard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the
fking ice.

DEC. 27 More of that White s**t last night. Been inside for 3 days except
for shoveling out the driveway after that snowplow goes through every time.
Can't go anywhere, cars stuck in a mountain of that White s**t. The
weatherman says to expect another 10 of the s**t again tonight. Do you
know how many shovels full 10 of snow is?

DEC. 28 The fking weatherman was Wrong. We got 34 of that white s**t
this time. At this rate it won't melt before the middle of next summer.
The snowplow got stuck up the road and that b*stard came to the door and
asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels
already shovelling the white s**t he pushed into my driveway, I broke my
last one right over his fkin' Head!

JAN. 4 Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food
and on the way back d*mned deer ran out in front of the car and I hit it.
Did about USD3000.00 worth of damage to the car. Those fking beasts should
be killed. Wished the hunters had got them all last November.

MAY 3 Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the
motherfker is rusting out from all the godd*mn salt they put on the
roads?

MAY 10 Moved to Florida. I can't imagine anyone in their right mind
wanting to live in the God-forsaken state of Ohio.

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