Miscellaneous Jokes

There were these three morticians talking about their greatest feats.
The first one says, I had this soldier who stepped on a land mine.
Took me three days to get him ready for an open casket funeral!!
The next guy says, oh yeah? I had this construction worker fall
15 stories, then he got run over by a steam roller, but I had him
ready for an open casket funeral in two days!!! The third guy sulks
in the corner, man. both y'all got me beat. I had this lady parachutist
who landed on the empire state building. it took me four days just to get
the grin off her face.

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