Political Jokes

Dear States,

California ranks 48th in the nation in power

consumed per person.



California grows more than half the nation's fruit, nuts and vegetables.
We're keeping them. We need something to eat when the power goes out. We
grow 99 percent or more of the nation's almonds, artichokes, dates, figs,
kiwifruit, olives, persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins and walnuts.
Hope you won't miss them.


California is the nation's number one dairy state. We're keeping our dairy
products. We'll need plenty of fresh ones since our refrigerators can't be
relied upon. Got milk?


We Californians are gonna keep all our high-tech software in state. Silicon
Valley is ours, after all. Without enough electricity, which you're
apparently keeping for yourselves, we just plain don't have enough software
to spare.


We're keeping all our airplanes. California builds a good percentage of the
commercial airliners available to fly you people to where you want to go.
When yours wear out, you'd better hope Boeing's Washington plant can keep
you supplied. There isn't enough electricity here to allow us to export any
more planes than we need ourselves.


And while we're at it, we're keeping all our high-tech aerospace stuff, too, like the
sophisticated weapons systems that let you sleep at night, not worried you
might wake up under the rule of some foreign kook.


Oh, yeah, and if you want to make a long-distance call, remember where the satellite components and tracking systems come from. Maybe you could get back in the habit of
writing letters.


Want to see a blockbuster movie this weekend? Come to California. We make
them here. Since we'll now have to make them with our own electricity,
we're keeping them. Even if we shot them somewhere else, the labs, printing
facilities, editing facilities, and sound facilities are all here.


Want some nice domestic wine? We produce over 17 million gallons per year.
We'll need all it to drown our sorrows when we think about the fact that no
matter how many California products we export to make the rest of America's
lives better, America can't see its way clear to help us out with a little
electricity. You can no longer have any of our wine.


You all complain that we don't build enough power plants. Well, you don't
grow enough food, write enough software, make enough movies, build enough
airplanes and defense systems or make enough wine.


This is your last warning, America. Lighten (us) up before it's too late.


Love,

The Californians

Next (1)

Prev (2)

Jokes

Report this joke!