Miscellaneous Jokes

For those of you who have made a resolution to exercise, perhaps you
should
read this first:


It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life... This enables you, at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at USD5,000 per month.


1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we don't know where the hell she is.


2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.


3. I joined a health club last year; spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.


4. I have to exercise early in the morning ... before my brain figures out what I'm doing.


5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes,he would have put them further up on our bodies.


6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me


7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.


8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.


9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.


10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump out of my gin and tonic.

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