Miscellaneous Jokes

For new fathers, or anyone thinking about becoming a father,
you must learn these WORDS OF WISDOM:


Don't ask me, ask your mother.


Close the door. Were you raised in a barn?


You didn't beat me. I let you win.


Who said life was supposed to be fair.


This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.


You call that noise music?


No, we're not there yet.


When I was your age, I treated MY father with respect.


As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules.


Because I said so. That's why.


Do what I say, not what I do.


So you think you're smart, do you?


If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.


You want something to do? I'll give you something to do.


I'm not just talking to hear my own voice!


What do you think I am, a bank?


What part of NO don't you understand?


I don't care what other people are doing! I'm not everybodyelse's father!


If you're gonna be dumb, you've gotta be tough.


Enough is enough!


Don't make me stop the car!

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