Men & Women Jokes

For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is! In the
world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy! Do
something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points
are subtracted, You don't get any points for doing something she expects....
Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point
system.


Sample Duties


You make the bed....+1

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....-1

You throw the bedspread over the rumpled sheets....-1

You leave the toilet seat up ....-5

You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty....0

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex....-1

You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings....+5

But return with beer....-5

You check out a suspicious noise at night....0

You check out a suspicious noise at night and it's nothing....0

You check out a suspicious noise at night and it's something....+5

You pummel it with a six iron....+10

It's her father....-10


Social Engagements


You stay by her side the entire party....0

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy....-2

Named Tiffany...-4

Tiffany is a dancer....-6

Tiffany has implants....-8


A Night Out


You take her to a movie....+2

You take her to a movie she likes....+4

You take her to a movie you hate....+6

You take her to a movie you like....-2

It's called Death Cop 3....-3

Which features cyborgs having sex....-9

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans....-15


Your Physique


You develop a noticeable potbelly....-15

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it...+10

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts....-30

You say I don't care because you have one too....-800


Driving


You lost the directions on a trip....-4

You lost the directions and end up getting lost....-10

You end up getting lost in the bad part of town....-15

You end up getting lost in the bad part of town and met the locals up close and personal....-25

You know them....-60

The Big Question She asks, Do I look fat?....-5 (Sensitive questions always start with a deficit)

You hesitate in responding....-10

You reply, Where?....-35


Communication


When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying

what looks like a concerned expression....0

When she wants to talk, you listen for over 30 minutes....+5

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+15

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