Miscellaneous Jokes

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.


DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.


FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.


FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.


FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.


GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.


HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.


IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.


INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.


OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.


PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.


SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.


STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.


TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.


TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.


VERBAL: able to whine in words


WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.

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