Miscellaneous Jokes

Mommy, mommy! What's a vampire? Shut up, kid, and drink your soup before it clots!


Mommy, mommy! What's a werewolf? Shut up, kid, and shave your face!


Mommy, mommy! Why is Daddy running away? Shut up, kid, and reload!


Mommy, Mommy! Why is kitty going around in circles? Shut up, kid, and flush it again!


Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Europe! Shut up, kid, and keep swimming!


Mommy, mommy! I don't want to visit grandma! Shut up, kid, and keep digging!


Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to eat spaghetti again tonight! Shut up, kid, or I'll rip the veins out of your other leg!


Mommy, mommy! Why am I walking in circles? Shut up, kid, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!


Mommy, mommy! I don't want to eat hamburger for dinner! Shut up, kid, or I'll stick your other hand in the blender!


Mommy, mommy! Are you sure this is the way to bake cookies? Shut up, kid, and get back into the oven!


Mommy, mommy! I don't like tomato soup! Shut up, kid, we only have it once a month!


Mommy, mommy, I don't want to learn how to swim! Shut up, kid, and tie that block around your leg!


Mommy, mommy, I hate having cornflakes for breakfast! Shut up, kid, and keep picking your scabs!

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