Drunk Jokes

The Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on liquor bottles to warn drinkers of the hazards of over-imbibimg.


1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an a**hole.


2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.


3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.


4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.


5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.


6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).


7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.


8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.


9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible.


10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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