Miscellaneous Jokes

Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:


HEIDI - noun. Greeting.


HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: Heidi. Hire yew.


BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive to borrow. Usage: My brother bard my pickup truck.


JAWJUH - noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta. Usage: My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck.


MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts.


IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See Arkansas native. Usage: Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!


RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.


ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.


FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far.


BAHS - noun. A supervisor. Usage: If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work (or studying), your bahs is gonna far you!


TAR - noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck.


TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.


r*tard - Verb. To stop working. Usage: My grampaw r*tard at age 65.


TARRED - adverb. Exhausted. Usage: I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred.


FAT - noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.


ARE - pr*noun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.


RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats.


FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed. must be from some farn country.


DID - adjective. Not alive. Usage: He's did, Jim.


EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage: He cain't breathe. give 'im some ear!


BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.


JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction. Usage: Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?


HAZE - a contraction. Usage: Is Bubba smart? Nah. haze ignert.


SEED - verb, past tense.


VIEW - contraction: verb and pr*noun. Usage: I ain't never seed New York City. view?


HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action. Usage: Kin I heavy dew me a favor?


GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution. Usage: Them gummit boys sh*re are ignert.

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