Elderly Jokes

There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment.
One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store.
He went up to the shop assistant and asked Could I have a fket
please?
The assistant askedPardon sir?.
Can I have a fket please? Replied the man.
Oh you mean a bucket! The shop assistant replied.
The old man said Yes, that's what I said. So the man paid for his
bucket and went into the antique shop.

In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked -
Can I have a c*ck please?
The cashier looked very puzzled and asked Pardon?.
The man again asked Can I have a c*ck please?
The cashier replied Oh you mean a clock! - yes certainly sir.
So he paid for the clock and walked out of the shop.

The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant and
asked Can I have a b*m please?
The assistant said Sorry sir what did you say?.
So he repeated himself Can I have a b*m please?.
The assistant said Oh right, you mean a bun!.
The old man said Yes that's what I said in the first place.
So the man bought a bun and walked out of the shop.

As he was walking down the street a little old lady came up to
him and asked Excuse me sir, but do you know the time?
The man replied Yes certainly, hold my b*m and fket while
I get my c*ck out.

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