Miscellaneous Jokes

An old sea captain with one wooden leg, one hook replacing a missing hand, and one missing eye goes into a bar. The sailor sitting next to him says, You're really in bad shape. What happened to your leg? I fell overboard, says the Captain, and before my mates could pull me aboard, a shark bit it off. Terrible, says the sailor. And what happened to your hand? We attacked a man-o'-war, says the Captain, and one of the attackees chopped it off with a saber. Awful, says the sailor. And how did you lose your eye? Seagull droppings, says the Captain. Amazing, says the sailor. I didn't know seagull droppings could put your eye out. Can't, says the Captain. But it was my first day with the hook.

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