Miscellaneous Jokes
The Speed of Time by Age
0-9 Extremely slow. Even a trip to the store with Mom seems like going
to Albania - by covered wagon. Most common phrase: Is it
Christmas yet?
10-19 Still slow. Scientific evidence seems to show that school clocks
actually move backwards just before the bell rings.
20-29 Alternately fast and slow. Weekends seem shorter and shorter, yet
paychecks seem further and further apart.
30-39 Time achieves warp speed, except when put on hold on the telephone
and forced to endure anything longer than 5 seconds of Muzak. Most
common phrase: Is it Christmas already?
40-49 Still fast. Seems like just yesterday when Jerry Brown said he
might run for President. Wait a minute! It WAS yesterday when he
said that. Also, d*ck Clark still looks the same. Could time be
slowing down?
60-69 Hey! What happened to 50-59?
70 + Unbelievably fast. Wars used to last years. Now it seems like
they're over in a couple weeks.
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