Celebrity Jokes

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Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson

Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of
procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to the
population for my act of copulation. I gave in to temptation, for the
anticipation of sexual gratification, that I could not obtain through
masturb*tion, resulted in my fornication. I accepted her invitation,
and provided her with excitation, stimulation, penetration, replication,
and liberation. She provided lubrication (to avoid inflammation) and I
wore condoms to avoid contamination.

She cried for duplication but I insisted upon termination, in spite her
fascination with variation. This has caused me great aggravation, and
the agitation and provocation of the media has resulted in my humiliation,
denigration, and degradation. My wife is considering castration, which
would require my hospitalization.
Pray that this matter will find culmination in my sanctification and
rehabilitation so that my plans for nomination to my ultimate vocation
will not result in revocation and termination. I hope this proclamation
has provided illumination and verification and will prohibit further
provocation.

Sincerely,

The Rev. Jesse Jackson

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